Kitchen of life

As I look at everyone trying to make sense of this economy and the fundamental paradigm shifts in how we view careers, our professional lives and work, a few things are becoming clear.  There is less and less chance of finding what once was a life career with a single company.

A long time ago, I made up my jobs.  I adapted, I changed on the fly and I never, ever relied solely on one job.  The problem happened when I relied on a specific career with a single job.  That is one mistake I will never make again.  In the meantime, I’m left untangling the mess of belief systems that crept in and that I allowed.

It’s easy to get caught up with the belief systems we have in our society.  Success is measured by how much you have in your bank account, or maybe your to the point how much you flaunt.  The criteria for women and men beautiful are etched upon almost every street corners with prominent billboards displaying young and attractive models.  But real success is a little more subtle than the money you make.  After all, your success measured by the flow of money is only the medium of how happy and productive you are.  I don’t see too many unhappy people making it big.  Sooner or later, even the most fool-hearty eventually drop the pretense and come to terms with the biggest secret of life.  Being happy means doing what you love to do and is not measured by how money you make.  Strangely enough, doing what you love to do makes you rich… but that is another topic and this “richness” is measured with more than just money.

In the end, there are no pre-set recipes to success.  You are in a giant cosmic kitchen with every ingredient at your disposal.  The trick is to make the dish of your choice by carefully balancing the ingredients until you have the right mix.  As with any kitchens, there are ingredients that shouldn’t make their way into your dish.  You choose which ones to use.

I think most people are well intentioned, others are just not with it all the time.  Rightfully so, who is anyway?

A few months ago, I went back to my real name Nicolas.  By the way, I had a fun experience when I was asked over the phone what was my name.  I said Nicolas, without a name.  There was a pause, then the lady asked what I meant by that…

Meanwhile, back in the jungle.  I decided to go back to Nicolas for two reasons.  It’s my original name and it’s the one that carries my substance.  In other words, Nick is over-active, hyper guy who’s all over the place.  Nicolas is the fuller experience   What I never anticipated would be how hard it is for people to call me Nicolas.

My close friends get it, and call me by my real name.  I sometimes even forget and say Nick, then catch myself.  What still puzzles me is signing emails with my full name only to get replies to Nick.  Even people I introduced my self as Nicolas, sign my name as such, still call me by my not-used nickname.  Of course, this isn’t important in the grand scheme of things, but it’s weird, to say the least.  Maybe I will abbreviate their names and when they protest, I’ll say I thought that’s what you guys did.

It’s weird sometimes how certain things might be important to you, how you convey it to others and still it doesn’t register.  It’s weird to even write about it and I often ask myself why I do.  The answer is simple, because I can, because I want and because if no one says or does anything, we find ourselves in the mess we are in today globally…  Ah yes, vote for Nicolas!

ACC from the International Coaching Federation

It came around to renewing my International Coaching Federation, ICF accreditation this month, something I worked very hard for.  I eventually decided against it.

The gist is that there’s something to be said about international bodies that stand up for an ideal and represent it.  But there is also a time to consider whether $200 could be better spent on training or even better, marketing in these “uncertain times”.  $200 a years buys you a few things with the ICF, mainly the pride of being accredited, and its research and surveys.  But in an economy where we debate the finer subtleties of how to best spend our hard earned money, a $200 subscription to a body that doesn’t actively refer clients might seem a stretch.

Loosing Accreditation.  I will eventually lose my accreditation when it runs out next year.  The funny thing about accreditations is that they are difficult to get.  You train a lot to pass them and they eventually get you into companies, something that is not my primary concern.  Another thing is that most professional bodies have a short effective life span.  When they are young and eager, they represent you well.  Give them a decade and things change.  Not that the ICF doesn’t do its job, it just doesn’t do more of the jobs I wish for, for which I would gladly give $200.  Lastly, studying for an accreditation is an exercise in academics which doesn’t always reflect reality.  What we learn to do in order to pass the stringent accreditation process is not what we experience in a real live coaching relationship.  It does prove one thing however, that you can pass a hard test.  And anyway, there are new Coaching bodies out there that are eager to represent Coaches.  It will be fun contacting them.

In the end, the experience I received both as having had and studied for my accreditation, along with my professional experience defines me more than three simple letters, A.C.C..

Due to an onslaught of spam, I’m closing down the membership request.  If you wish to sign up, please drop a comment to a post and I will approve you.

Thank you, Nicolas

Spring of Sustainability

Hi everyone, I’m writing again about another great free online series of events aimed at transforming your fears and frustrations in regards to the state of our planet.  These series are designed to get back into the hope and action mode.

The Spring of Sustainability series features more than 100 pioneers of sustainability – including Jane Goodall, Bill McKibben, Vandana Shiva, Van Jones, John Robbins, Hazel Henderson, Frances Moore Lappe’ — all sharing insights and tools you need to connect and collaborate with others to create a sustainable and thriving world.

Register for free here.

When?  This season-long virtual series is happening March 26th through June 22nd.  You can listen in live via your phone line or computer to as many sessions as you’d like, or access the replays at a time more convenient for you.

I hope you can join me where together we can create a more sustainable planet for ourselves, our children and grandchildren, and for all generations to come.

Thank you, Nicolas

It’s Spring again!

A doctor friend of mine one days said we looked at seasons the wrong way.  Winter isn’t the dead of the year.  In fact, quite the opposite.  It’s bulbs start to push through the cold dried ground.  It’s when trees wake up.  Spring is really Summer.  Everything has finally reached its full force.  Summer is the beginning of the end of the cycle.  It’s the late season when the last flowers have bloomed and all is about to go to sleep again.  Finally Fall is the real Winter when things go underground and die to be reborn again… in the dead of Winter as it pushes through… and so on, so forth.

Think it’s far fetched?  Think about this is coming from a society that insist on a Gregorian calendar that has nothing to do with the season but a vain attempt by man to neatly fit days in a mathematic sequence that makes no sense.  Older, far wiser civilizations adopted the more correct lunar calendar.

I know it sounds like a silly question but I just experienced it.  Are you paranoid or just over-reacting?

I follow and belong to several groups of professionals and we mostly communicate online.  The problem is when you don’t have live interactions, you can’t always get the complete message.  In other words, face to face communication offers a heck of a lot more clues and subtleties, such as what is the person r4eally saying?

Why am I writing this?  Because in this day and age on online communications, email, text messaging and more, it’s not always easy to understand where a person is coming from.  I received a few emails and comments on some articles I wrote that led to a lot of questioning.  I didn’t understand two people were asking and assumed I was targeted.  Of course, I was wrong but it was interesting my first reaction was to feel targeted.

Sometimes it seems we are moving away from the traditional my responsibility to make sure I’m understood to the responsibility lies on the receiving end to understand.  In the end, we need to discover and create new ways of expanding our communication capacity when we use such limited medium as online tools.  In the meantime, before you consider being paranoid, ask yourself if you are just over-reacting.

When I hear myself talking, I sometimes wonder who this little creature is and what is it.  That’s Buddhism 101, I know.  This is why I always get choked up when I see an animation that puts us into context.

If everyone could watch this before talking, we wouldn’t be so quick to anger and feel superior, or smaller.  If every politician could watch this a few times a day, we’d have little to no division and a badly needed healthy dose of humility.

http://htwins.net/scale2/scale2.swf?bordercolor=white

Entrepreneurs don't have much choice when it comes to education

I’m usually a curious person and always open to a conversation, even listening to odd balls out there.  But sometimes, negative bantering is just that, filling up a neutral void with negativity.  Sorry, but that will done without me.

I sat down to grab a bite not too long ago and what seemed like a slightly disturbed man starting talking to me.  He asked if I knew what had happened to Michael Jackson and I said not really.  Then he went on to tell me how Michael Jackson brought in little children in his mansion to…  That’s the point when I turned to him forcefully and raised my hands.  I told him I didn’t want to hear that.  I also told him the world is a strange one and it sure doesn’t need people to add negativity to it.  It was a strange reaction on my part.  I never cut off people so abruptly to tell them I was in no mood to hear their ramblings.  I’ve always felt there are jewels in any situations.  The problems is, you don’t have to look under every stone to find what you are looking for.

What I didn’t expect was his reaction.  He stopped, looked at me curiously and became quiet.  He tried a little while back to talk about how aliens get in your head for control and as much as I want to give credence to this, I just was not in the mood to indulge in this kind of energy.  So I got up and went outside, sat next to another gentleman and told him he was better company.

What I didn’t expect also, was his reaction.  He looked at the person inside, then turned to me and started to tell me that the other person was right, there are problems in life.  It was my time to stop, take a moment as I looked at him and said: “We have a choice in life.  We can either sit on our bums and complain or get going and do something about it.  Which will you choose?”

And that concluded a day I spent where I was more interested in doing than saying or indulging in something that has never been truly constructive, being negative.  Maybe it’s that Steve Jobs biography I am reading, maybe it’s just my age bracket.  Somehow the feeling has lasted this week also…

Imagine using what you consider a disability to your advantage?  If you play it well, say by underplaying it, it could become your biggest asset.
A slight attention deficit disorder is not the end of the world and has advantages you might not have though of.  For instance, it can make you be able to jump lines of thinking quickly.  This is a key factor in leading innovation, creativity and innovative thinking.   I bet you didn’t know that typically, dyslexic people have better peripheral vision than most?   In a public environment, say when speaking to a large group, you are more aware of looks your attendance shows.  For instance you can catch glimpse of boredom, surprise, restlessness and other cues that help you keep their attention engaged.  , and have learned to respond to these in real time.  In other words, dyslexia makes you more sensitive to people’s facial and body language and use to to decode the messages.
Another lesser known fact is that people with Aspergers Syndrome, AS are natural observers and can become great executives who can see the greater picture in a dispassionate way, then figure out what works and what doesn’t. If people with AS have a hard time connecting to others, they are great at getting others to connect.  This is also another  key aspect of leadership.  You stutter?  Then you can develop a deep, reflective, halting style to not only compensate, but also make you look thoughtful and deliberate.  The list goes on and on.
And if you don’t suffer from ADD and other a la mode symptoms, than look at what you don’t like about yourself, then turn into a quality.  If you need help, I highly recommend reading Steve Job’s biography by Walter Isaacson.  I promise you will see the great Job in a different light than you already do.  As Dave Logan author of Tribal Leadership and The Three Laws of Performance  said, when done properly, the truth is that self-reinvention, when done properly, is embracing your innermost self. Only partial or flawed reinvention is changing what you don’t like.  I couldn’t have said it any better.