Coaching Businesses and Life, a view from Long Beach

Hurry Up And Wait!

How many of you have felt like that this last month, or even year?  It seems many have.  Hurry, only to have to wait.

I started to wonder if it was because we intuitively feel something is happening? Something is changing?  Or could it be we are so focused on the next moment, we don't take time to be in the now and miss opportunities, that forces to eventually have to stop, and wait?

I feel it is a little bit of everything.  Yes, things are happening and changing fast.  Business as it was done is having a harder time to continue.  People are not happy getting locked in cable, cellular provider or any other provider services.  It's anti competitive and it sure does not reassure.  The automobile world is in upheaval where for once, mainstream manufactures are trying to catch up to more nimbler start ups who have taken the initiative of electric vehicles.  More and more people want to do something more meaningful than just working to pay taxes.  According to the constant influx of people I meet, almost everyone express a desire to do something better for life, better for themselves and society as a whole.

Are we feeling a deep current change beneath the surface of our fast paced society, more used to lip service and attitude instead of substance?  Have we been pushed too much, too far into consumerism there is a feeling of profound dissatisfaction?  Before we hurry and wait, we need to make sure we have tapped into our source and understand who we are, how we function and get to where we want to be.

Steps To An Effective Schedule

I feel I am a master a creating my ideal personal effective daily schedule.   Hum, PEDS.  Yes, I will add that one as a module to my coaching practice :)

Obviously, creating your own effective daily schedule requires a good insight as to who you are and how best you function.  Often enough, entrepreneurs do not like routines.  That's an understatement!  The same thing happening day after day will send them in the opposite direction in a frenzy.  So how do they establish and efficient schedule?

State goals, keep them in mind during the day and find things that give you satisfaction to fill in between tasks.  Sounds easy, but it is actually even easier than that.  Once you have stated your goals, let's say work on a project, write a few posts, write a passage for a book and answer urgent emails, it then becomes easy to divide your day in a flexible way.

You know you can allocate the morning to the urgent things, like emails, and then start working on that important project.  Here is the key, once you feel discomfort, boredom, frustration, STOP!  Do something that brings you satisfaction for 5mn, get to answer that secondary list of email replies, hunt some fun news, just do something that makes you feel good.  You will feel recharged and ready to continue the rest of your tasks.

It's actually very easy, you just need someone outside of you to help you get organized.  I think they have a name, like coaches or something like that... ;)

Learning, Knowing and Being

Sooner or later, you have to learn something new.  Acquiring knowledge is easy but if it's not followed by a constant reminder and a real actualization of it, it will drift away.  Learning can happen in two ways, understanding something you have just learned and incorporating it into your being.  Both are different and the latter takes more effort but is final. 

Have you ever had one of the Ah ha moment, only to remember a later that the feeling is gone and nothing lasting came out of it?  That's something we are facing in the coaching world on a daily basis.  Many clients will have Ah ha moments but unless they act on it, it won't translate into an actual lasting and definite shift.  None of this has been any clearer than my last ah ha moment I realized I had arrived at a given destination of professional life I had set but without revisiting that feeling and realization, I would have lost the scope and gone right back to who I was before, trying to achieve something I had gotten already.

It's really a question of changing a habit you created in order to get to a certain place.  Once you are there, you need to see you made it and change accordingly, not just contemplate it shortly and assumed it is done.

Hopefully, this doesn't sound too nebulous.  It's actually the fact that when you feel a great change has happened within yourself, you need to own it but reminding you you it has indeed happened.  You are the new person you were looking for.  It needs a constant attention for a few days, weeks or even months depending on how important the change was.  It's not enough to think you've changed.  You need to make it part of you through a constant observation and reinforcing it.

Ah, the things we talk with coaches.

Questions From Ekhardt Tolle

Ekhardt Tolle in his book The New Earth has caught the attention if the public media and with good material.  Here are some questions I found to be very valuable in my practice.

What is my relationship with the present moment?  Not only has this hit home for a lot of clients, but I also have used it in meditation.  What is me and now?  How do I stand in this now?  What is it, anyway.

The pearl is the following: Am I treating the now as no more than a means to an end?   Am I living constantly for a future moment  that is more important than now?  If so, am I not fully aware in this now and losing opportunities?  If I live in the short term future, always doing things quickly so that I can get there, am I missing things right now by not paying attention?  Am I neglecting things now by looking ahead?  I don't know know about you but this one particularly hits home for me.  How often have I found myself rushing to get somewhere to realize I forgot something?  Or how about rushing to do something, like carrying things to the kitchen and piling too much in order to go quickly only to drop them and have to start over?  Same thing with typing.  By trying to go too quickly, I end up wasting time correcting my typos.  You could go on and on and on with this one alone.

So, is the present moment an obstacle?   If so, why do you see it such?  What have you thought of to change the way you perceive it?  How can you make it work for you?

I haven't read Tolle's complete work but he is in the lineage of other insightful teachers.  I consider him right there with Krishnamurti.

Another great little exercise is to lay down, body fully relaxed and observe it being decomposed, as if you had passed away.  Observe your body vanishing, passing away, decomposing.  Who is observing?

Now go out there and breath some fresh air!  :)

Easy Steps To Feel Better

Well, they are only easy once you've decided that you really need and want to feel better.

Give it up!  Give up being right.   It takes too much energy and the payoffs are usually feeling hollow and exhausted.  Even if you are correct, not being able to show it to others will only bring resentment and bring you to a stalemate.   Remember the ancient hermetic axiom: "All truths are half truths"?  How can you create a dynamic and enriching conversation if you fight to be right?  Makes no sense and is not worth the energy for the bad results gained.

Challenge yourself to gauge yourself once in a while.  Challenge yourself.  Ask yourself: "Is what O hold to be true correct or am I relying on something that does not serve me anymore?"  Take time to question yourself, not to madness but to see if you are fooling yourself.

Make sure you have given yourself permission and space in order to grow and move on.  Its remarkable how many times we find ourselves ready to move on but do nothing about it.  It takes more than wishful thinking, contrary to The Secret.  The law of attraction works best when you actually push a few atoms towards the Universe.  Does the space around you reflect you?  Is it nurturing?  Inviting?

Is your routine satisfying you?  As a self proclaimed anti-routine guy I can tell you I worked long and hard to find a routine flexible enough to be fun, motivating and filling me with satisfaction.  Take a chance and try something new.  If it didn't work, great, you will have learned something and avoid it in the future.  If it works, great also, you found something that works even better.  We are creature of habits that need break.  Interesting conundrum, isn't it?

Do what makes you feel good WITHIN REASON, of course.  Meaning, don't go hurting or harming others or anything foolish like that.  But ask yourself what makes you have fun and do it.  We need to balance our lives.  All work and no play makes for very unsatisfied people.  Want proof?  Look at the majority of people in corporations?  And the new trend is to make work fun and challenging.

Thank goodness for coaches!

The Coaching Plateau

So what's next?  You've worked well with your coach.  You've achieve secret ambitions you never thought you would, or at least dreamed possible on your own.  Now you are happy.  You find yourself at this plateau where you are comfortable.  Everything looks good.  But wait a second, this is the right time to start looking ahead and planning.

As humans we have a wee bit tiny tendency to rest on our laurels, especially when we find ourselves reaching a place of comfort.  Still, that is the best time to start stretching your horizon.  This is the time when you can safely look around, gauge the situation, take stock of what you have done and start looking for a further horizon.

I noticed this happens a lot in coaching.  You work well with your client and all the sudden it feels as if it is all done and said.  The person you are talking to is a much more different than the one you started the coaching process a few months back.  That person is happier, more centered, more there and fully enjoying their success.  Once they have celebrated, it is time to stimulate their interest and thinking.  What else?  What other alternatives do you see?  What are your options going forward?  What would make you even happier?

These are wonderful questions I am experiencing with some clients at the present moment and the "ah has" are always elating.

Moving On Towards A Healthier Business Model

As I read the news and talk to different people around me, one thing is for sure, we cannot continue to do business the way we have in the past.

We cannot continue with business as usual for many reasons, environmental obvious dangers, unsustainable growth pace are unrealistic, people are stressed, squeezed and depressed, and everyone seems to want a change.

The Olympics are finished.  Many people watched it but I heard complaints about only showing our own athletes and not other countries.  That doesn't fit the spirit of the Olympics that celebrates athletes across the borders.  It seems many people would have been interested to hear more about other less covered sports and not always focus on our number ones while discarding when we lose.

GM and Tesla is a perfect case of how business was done and how business is being done.  The GM versus Tesla philosophy pretty much captures the current business mood.  GM banked on big, heavy gas guzzling SUV and pickup trucks despite impending warning of unsustainable future growth.  This lead the door wide open for smaller, more nimbler companies to pave the way for a refreshing modern thinking and developing technologies we thought were impossible on a daily basis.  Tesla Motors wanted a small performance electric car, they did it and passe in front of GM who is scrambling to hybridize a fleet of heavy SUVs with little success.

While Charter Communication, Verizon and other big faceless companies enjoy their monopolies, they still rely on annoying weekly spamming with complete disregard for consumers asking them to stop.  This made some so mad they switched to other services, satellite and other carriers, yours truly included.  Same thing applies to other industries, our local Subaru dealer is sending us VW new vehicle incentives.  We drive Subaru, not VW.

Ever since the beginning of the year, my regular email address has been swamped with real estate spams of all sorts.  It has gotten to the point where I will have to change my email because 88% of what I receive are irrelevant real estate spam.  It's sad to see some of these Realtors still don't get it and are doomed to a life of mediocrity.

Basically, can you spell enough is enough?  I have never seen people that fed up around me, unhappy or not satisfied.  It's strange when you consider the many opportunities and things available at our fingertips to make us more happy.  This would explain why coaches are doing so well in this society of over the board consumerism.  No wonder why there are so much self-help books and techniques available today.

In many ways, this is the wake up call our society needed.  It is even more apparent with the upcoming elections, it will be a good test to see how the undecided, in the middle people will chose in the long term when in the end neither candidates are great but one probably is better.  Ah, do we need a real change besides lip service :)

Creating A Working Daily Schedule

I wanted to share something that shifted in me this last month.  Something happened and the results are great.

I can finally go through a routine, that I don't see as a restrictive anymore.  As most people, I cringe at the idea of routine.  But something happened.  I have a routine of sorts.  I wake up early, help Virginia, have some time to myself in the garden to reflect, a short meditation and check emails before I get on with it.  After that, I hunt for the news for my other blog at ElectricNick.com.  It takes me about 3 hours to create 4 posts with the research involved.  After I go cross eyed, I need to escape and go to Polly's for a coffee and friendly faces.  Depending on the schedule, I have about 3 to 4 clients a day, mostly over the phone.  After spending some more time researching, writing, studying, I have to go to the gym work out and let go of some of my famous unbridled energy.  If I am lucky and have enough time, I will allow me the luxury of a half hour at the beach where I sit in contemplative mood , reflecting on the sea.  It is a great way to tap into myself again.  Yeay, Tap The Source!

I found for the first time in my life a balance of sorts, a routine kind of way to do everything I love and still enjoy doing it.  I have a great time working with my clients on developing effective and constructive routines.

Baseball

Those of you who know me will have their eyebrows raised with that title.  Nick knows nothing about baseball... that was until last night.

A few years ago, friends of ours brought us to a Dodger game.  To show how clueless I am, I thought the Dodgers were a football team.  I mean seriously.  If you were raised in another country and someone tells you about a team called the Dodgers, you would surely think of football, rugby or something grubby.  So here I am cracking jokes about football all the way to the Dodger's game.  I even kid about big baseball lights at the parking lot of the Dodger stadium.  I thought they were odd for a football game.  And then it happens, inside the stadium I notice the field is particular.  It doesn't look like any normal football field I knew.  I thought football had changed until I saw the Dodgers come out and noticed my hour long gaffes.

Fear not, that won't happen again since last night we went to an Angels' game against The Twins, I believe from Minnesota.  It was interesting because I started to understand the game, or at least the many intricacies of the game.  I love Rugby because it moves quickly, requires a lot of strength and agility but also a lot of tactics and strategies that are constantly evolving.

Watching baseball, I started to understand a part of a childhood I never had before 11 and after 17.  I never knew baseball and learning more about it last night gave me a more in depth glimpse into our American culture.  It is a slow game, no doubt about it.  It is a frustrating one at that.  You move up, then get wiped out.  You place one person there, until the other team takes him out.  It's two steps forward, one step back and sometimes vice-versa.

Yes, I say our culture because I chose to live here.  There is something fascinating about watching a very slow moving game, filled with intricacies and sportsmen who get very little action and get paid handsomely.  And on that subject, judging by paying $81 for a few typical baseball beers and food is no wonder why these folks are millionaires and their owners billionaires.  Interesting, indeed.

Charter Communicator, Still King Of Spam

From the department of This Is How We Do Business!

It's been 4 months since I wrote Gerry Brown, California's Attorney General about Charter's incessant regular mail spam and we still receive every week fliers from the company about deals all better than the last ones.  Unfortunately, they are still the same deals, still the same bait and catch into a contract agreement, and I still can't fathom paying $60 a month for commercial breaks every 6mn.  It makes no sense, especially in light of the poor quality of TV entertainment.  If we could only chose our channels and only pay for them, but the cable industry is a monopoly.  And yes, I am working on my next letter to the Attorney General and this sending the same to Charter Communication's CEO.

Charter Communication still takes the cake with lame advertising and nothing new.  Just an annoying company.  Google them, and you will see I am but one voice in a sea of dissatisfied people.

The other new comer to the chart of spammer is InsiderBet.  Now that one came out of nowhere.  I don't follow football, in fact I know very little about it.  Calling them has been a mixed experience.  "Can I get unsubscribed?"... "Oh, just throw it out."  You've got to be kidding and the person hung up on me.  That gets me even more fired up, so I call back and this time, I keep my stand.  Impossible to get them to disclose who is selling them my name.  Ah freedom, how restricive you are.

In the end, it makes me wonder about companies like those two.  Independents, as myself build our reputation on client satisfaction for our lifeline.  Charter Communication, InsiderBet, and to some extent Verizon just don't care.  Though I have to be fair with Verizon, even though it is a monopoly, they are a little better at helping.

Will I ever trust Charter Communications again after lying to us?  A resounding no!  Will I ever have a favorable image of them despite corny commercials of smiling users?  Absolutely not.  Maybe those users are on some drugs I don't have in my diet.

Finally, its mediocrity that gets these company by on daily basis.  Locking clients in yearly contracts get them a steady flow of income without having to be innovative.  When I check prices in Europe and Japan, I can't believe they charge that little for so much more compared to here.  We are twice as expensive, twice as bad and twice as slow.  Go figure.

Thank goodness I have a coach to talk to... :)