Coaching Businesses and Life, a view from Long Beach

Birthdays Are Fun!

The only problem is they go by so quickly!

It's strange.  It's like Christmas, Hanuka or whatever you celebrate.  You wait for it all year long.  It's one entire day out of 365, or 4 or 6 or whatever year it is.  On July 29th, I made sure to look at my cell phone and see that date so that I would savor it more.  I promised myself to do the same on the 30th.  And I was aware of it a few times during that day.  But all the sudden, after a romantic gondola ride and a restaurant, I am in bed falling asleep.  What happened?

Gone, zip, zoosh, flew by, bye bye, thank you Mam!  And I have to look forward to next year and add another number.  Isn't it funny how we psych ourselves up so much for events and have them race by quickly?  Maybe there is a knob to accelerate and decelerate time.  I think it has to do with quantum physics and science.

Long Beach's Rancho Los Cerritos

Enjoy classical jazz with Lauren Koval today night, July 31, at Rancho Los Cerritos.  “Vocalist Lauren Koval is one of the better singers of classical Jazz today”, says LA Jazz Scene.  Her graceful and elegant performance and striking stage presence will captivate audiences from the first note through the last.  Koval has performed at the Catalina Bar and Grill, Queen Mary,  Steamers Cafe and Jazz Club, as well as with the Jimmy Dorsey Orchestra throughout the US.  Don't miss her as she takes the stage at Rancho Los Cerritos!   Gates open to the gardens after 5 p.m. for picnicking; the free concert is from 6-7:30 p.m.

Explore the historic grounds at Rancho Los Cerritos on one of our monthly Sunday afternoon garden tours.   Hear stories about the gardens and their owners, and enjoy striking trees and unusual plants as you stroll through the=2 0orchard, inner courtyard, main garden and perimeter with a knowledgeable volunteer guide.  Our next tour is Sunday, August 3, at 2:30 p.m.   Reservations are requested by calling 562/570-1755.

Coming Up:
August 10:   Sharp Sounds big band music @ 6 p.m.
August 17:   Mud Mania: A Celebration of Adobe, 12:30 - 4:30 p.m.
August 21:   Hard Travelin’:   Songs and Struggles of the Great Depression with Ross Altman @ 6 p.m.

Make a difference in a young child's life -- help inspire an interest in history and community.  The Rancho is seeking volunteers to assist with its award-winning fourth grade school program, Adobe Days Revisited, which takes place during the academic year.   For further information, please contact volunteer coordinator Jan Shafer at Rancho Los Cerritos,  562/570-1755.

Acres Of Books Closing

It's really sad to see a book store, nay the way books stores were closing down.

Books of Acres is the real deal, old, musty smelling books.  The tactile feel of browsing through these old books is something I hope the later generations will be able to feel.

In the meantime, come and pay a visit to the store which is offering an additional sale tomorrow morning.

Acres of Books- Early Bird Special!!!!

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Acres of Books

show details Jul 28 (1 day ago)

Reply

Dear Friends and Patrons,
          Acres of Books is continuing our store closing sale.  On 7/31/08 we are having an early bird special!!!  This means that all sections are an additional 10% off.   This sale lasts from 8am to 10am.  After 10am the prices drop back to the original discounts.

          This week most sections are 25% off.  However, Business, Psychology, Self Help, and Sports are 40% off.  Audio books are 40% off and paperbacks are 30% off.

            We are also continuing our canned food drive.  So keep those cans coming in!!!

            We are going to be open Monday-Saturday 10-6 and Sunday we are open 10-5.

Thank you for your patronage…

240 Long Beach Blvd
Long Beach, CA 90802
(562) 437-6980

Thank you Acres of Books.  We'll look for you wherever you are.

It's Nick's Birthday

And as such, Nick will spend it at the beach, at Polly's (come and see me :)  ) and just hanging out enjoying a beautiful Southern California day.

And to make things better, my cold has subsided.  :)

Help Long Beach's Last Free Green Spots Tomorrow

Lakes, Ponds And Wetlands Taskforce Meets July 30

The Long Beach Lakes, Ponds and Wetlands Taskforce will meet on July 30 to discuss the most recent lake cleanup and develop plans for the next one. The taskforce will also consider ways to continue educating the community about not feeding the ducks and caring for the city's park environment. The meeting is scheduled to begin at 7 p.m. at the Parks, Recreation and Marine Department, 2760 N. Studebaker Rd.

Source: Long Beach Business Journal

Me Who?

Me who?  Who's me?

It can be difficult understanding who you truly are.  How many times do you accept to do something to really know you don't want?  How many times do you please people and do what is being asked of you because it is expected of who you are?  But is this really, who you are?  And anyway, who are you?

Wouldn't it be great to only do the things that really resonate with you, the things that really make up who you are?  Wouldn't it be great to have such an understanding of who you are that you actually got to do the things you love doing?  And it doesn't mean only doing what you like to do.  It can also mean doing things you might not like but know, deep down are part of the who you are.  Can you imagine the business application to this?  You are not a follower, you are a trend setter.  You are not following what is being expected of you, you are a seeker, a adventurer of the self.

In this "modern" day and age, it's hard to have a clear understanding of who we truly are.  Look around you.  Inundated by commercials telling how to look, telling you to look younger or else you are not worth it anymore, telling you to wear your shorts mid-way through your buttocks because that's cool.  And since when showing off part of my underwear is cool?  I must have missed something.  Telling you if if you don't have that attitude plastered across your face, you're a no one.  We frantically try to look different but end up looking like everyone else.

How about those people driving in a nonchalant way, their hand high perched on top of the steering wheel, cocked to the middle of the car, looking blase.  What is it, scoliosis?  Hemorrhoid?  Ah, you look cool but who are you really?

I've often felt those who are actually cool are those who are themselves and often, are outside of time and fashion trends.  I've spent most of my time expressing myself without noticing fashion trends.  And sometimes I gave in.  It felt good but hollow.  I've been wearing things that were either a decade before my time or about to hit the big trend fashion again.  Oh those paisley shirts before they became fashionable again.  All in all, I felt happy with people who were like me following their own desires of self-expression through clothes, music and whatever else.  They knew who they were and we were not about to be told what to wear, say or think.

But be careful, once you know who you are, you can't go back.  You can't lie to yourself ever again.  It won't feel good.  You'll feel uncomfortable.  It's called being in integrity.  Nothing will do but to be yourself.  However on the flip side, people will love you for who you are, not what you appear to be.  You can truly be satisfied that you are original and what-you-see-is-what-you-get (WYSIWYG). 

Still looking for that love of your life?  But if you are following the trends how will you recognize each other?  Wouldn't you be cheating each other of the real you?  And once you are the real you, aren't you giving the most precious gift to one another?  The real you.

What got me thinking about that?  Advertising in general.  The best way to rake up business is to impose on people how they should think.  Get people to give up their critical thinking and looking for themselves. Let someone else do this.  No, says I.  And coaching only reaffirmed my commitment to be myself.  What else can I do anyway?

Creating The Fire To Sustain Motivation

I don't know what it is lately but I've acted out more the traditional "coach" part of my profession than previously.

A big part of coaching is the accountability factor.  Most of my clients have demanded and needed it more lately so than before.  I noticed how a few of them were fired up this last week when it came down to figuring out why they want to do the things they want.  Then they got even more fired up about how to do them.  Then some got iffy when it came down to giving me concrete proof that they were doing it while others said yes.  And by the way, even those who were iffy finally turned arund and used me as a trampoline to get their goals going.

It made me realize the part about coaching we don't always do.  Some coaches fall back too much into the convenient: "How are you doing?" and "Fill me up on what's been happening" instead of the much more enticing what have you been doing and show me aspect of coaching.

Coaching is a great motivator both for the client but also for the coach.

Introducing ElectricNick.com

Here is what's been keeping me busy these last few months.

A few of us, including some nice heavy-weight financial backers have been scratching our heads at the new electric car trend and phenomena.  It has spread like wild fire. Everyone and anyone wants a hybrid, a plug-in hybrid, and electric car and why not, a hydrogen car.

What we noticed that disconcerted us even more was that there are two types of blogs out there covering news, the personal ones, mostly all about "me" and how "I" see the technology and the news ones.  Though the first ones aren't bad, they often lack research and impartiality.  The second has some research but seems too buyist and sometimes plainly feels they are pushing one technology over the other.

At ElectricNick.com we believe in bringing relevant news in an impartial way and conclude with with thought provoking questions.  Why do you want an electric vehicle?  Why a Plug-In Hybrid (PHEV) over a Hybrid, a hydrogen over a pure Electric Vehicle (EV)?  Why solar instead of Ethanol.  Most we want people to read it, get a sense if what is going on and be able to defend their ideas.

We think too many agendas are being pushed, backed by powerful lobbies for every conceivable alternative solutions.  As always, Washington and Wall Street are enamourned with the most expensive and least practical.  So we want to bridge the world of personal opinions backed by a good understanding, one that can stand explanation from anyone.

And now, I can g back to posting more regularly on Tap The Source's blog.

Being Hard On Yourself, How Is That Working For you?

If we excel at one thing it's probably being hard on ourselves.

I should be doing more.  I don't do enough.  I'm sure I can do better.  Though this can be an incredible source of energy and push us to excel, equally it can drive us mad and worse yet, it can drain us to eventually become completely counterproductive. 

I read a great quote from a newsletter from the Kabbalha Center: "if you are beating yourself up because you don't do enough, then it's just your ego talking.  But if you are genuinely motivated by these thoughts, then it's your soul speaking."

And there lies the red hearing, how do we know if it is our soul talking or our ego?  Normally I can sense when my ego is talking.  My ideas don't stand scrutiny.  I will quickly see they come from a part of me that feels undervalued, unappreciated or something that seeks recognition.  They are not bad per se but are important to understand if I want to work with them.  At the very least, they are great gauges of how I am doing and a good way to tell how I am using it.

If my ego speaks, I notice there is little rationalization, or at least the kind that really holds the road.  It usually points to a self-serving outcome, one of personal validation goal.  If it's my "soul" talking, then it points to something even higher than my earthy self, usually well beyond the scale of awards and punishments, at least not in this realm.

It is so crucial to understanding where your motivations spring from.  Are they genuine?  Are they real?  Do they reflect who I am?  Where do they come from?  Who do they serve?  How can they be best used to achieve my goals?  How much in integrity am I?  Those are great questions to work with your coach.

How To Make Better Decisions

You know the old saying: "Two brains are better than one".  Funny thing is we technically have two brains, but that's besides the point.

How many times do you go to a friend to chat, to talk things through, to get another idea or perspective?  How many times is that friend there, or ready to be with you, or even able to stay neutral?  I was looking for someone like that but I didn't know where to turn.  Virginia practically forced me to go see a coach.  It wasn't without a huge amount of reluctance and digging my heels in the ground that I got around to it.  And when I got around to it I became humble because I realized I had looked for something for so long only to have it brought to me in a professional way.

The great thing about coaches is that they are neutral.  If they are not, then it's not my definition of a coach.  They are not your best friends but are vested in your happiness.  They are not interested in particular results (if you find one that is, caution, caution!), they are more interested in you being happy doing what you like doing most, since then your entire life becomes effortless.

As time went by I started using coaching in a more efficient way by knowing what I wanted to use that time with.  I have 30 to 45 mn and I must make the best of this idea bouncing time.  The results are great.  Greater awareness around who I really am, what I want to do in life and how to go about it.  And the best part, actually the worse for me is the accountability factor.  I have to tell them next time what I did... and sometimes, didn't.  I don't like being held accountable for things even though I do what I say I will.  I just hate the extra pressure of having to be accountable to someone.  That's probably one of the reasons why I work on my own.  As a coach, I use that accountability for those who want it and carefully maneuver around it for those like me who cringe at the thought.