Ever wonder why we only hear about sex and not about making love? 

I've always felt it was seedy thinking of love making as "sex".  It's physical, some times even animalistic.  There is nothing wrong with being physical and having urges is part of humanity.  Certainly our Judeo-Christian heritage has made a mess of something as beautiful as making love and turned into vulgar sex.  But I wonder why we hear too much about sex and not enough about making love.

I think it's time for a paradigm shift and changing our vocabulary.

I know what I am about to say might sound political but it isn't. I am firmly entrenched in no politics and neither side is right.  After all, taxpayers are always left to foot the bill for problems these politicians allow for in the first place.

Nowhere has it been more obvious that current politicians are fighting relevancy, despite being incapable of creating long lasting peaceful solutions.  Left to our own device, I would venture to say we would do better than having an over-restrictive and rule laden society.  The more rules we have, the less common sense there is and the more people become complacent.  How often do we see people manipulating the system?  The same system that should protect in the first place.  Ultimately, after decades of sterile left and right ideological debates, the mess keeps getting bigger.

I was thinking about the whole point of giving money away in the form of stimulus package or bailouts to poorly managed corporations.  I can see the sense for the short term but wonder why there is no long term plan now that we need it more than ever.  With budget deficits left and right, we are spending less on education, and we will need that tomorrow.  Consider Chinese children wake up at 5 am to get to school by 6:30 in order to have that extra hour of tutoring and that should send shivers down our spines when you see how complacent our children have become.  I tutor middle schools kids once in a while and it is a frightening experience.  They do not care, have little understanding of anything that happens outside their direct environment and plainly said, are absolutely ill-equipped for tomorrow's challenges.

Yet, we reward poorly managed companies and spend less on education.  Without being left or right, I feel we will need a lot of ethical business and personal coaches out there.  Our work is cut out.

Funny how we sometimes lose control and give in to fear.  How true this is now days, seeing how often we are reminded that these are uncertain times.

Strangely enough, "uncertain times' have been the perfect time for some businesses that were either launched then or, all the sudden took off.  Maybe entrepreneurs are devoid of fear and many will launch their ventures at any moment, as long as it fulfills their needs.  Yet, many business were started when times were at their darkest and have thrived.

I like these "uncertain times".  They remind us, as the old hermetic axioms say, nothing rests, everything changes.  It's also a good reminder that we can get too complacent.  It's a good wake up that clearly reminds we need embrace these moments to redefine ourselves and see if we are on target or not.  Smart is she or ho who invests in themselves now.

One thing that strikes as odd, and maybe with hindsight, it shouldn't really is the fact that people see you as this all-knowing wise man when they find out you are a coach.  LOL, coaches are just human beings that have made some progress in some aspects of their lives, continue to do so and just have an innate curiosity that gets people to start reflecting on themselves until they find their solutions.

Like most coaches, I always feel a little awkward when people ask what I do.  What do I say?  I help people find their true vocation?  I work with women to find their voices at the work place?  I work with artists and entrepreneurs grow their business by doing what they want do?  While some of these sentences might attract the attention of some, it doesn't convey that as a coach, I ask questions.

It's funny how we naturally jump to the conclusion that some of the people we meet are more advanced that we are and know more.  All in all, everything is relative.  The nurse I work with knows how to save people, professionally I don't.  However, I know how the psyche works and I am curious about people's thought process.  Coaches are human beings interested in human beings.

Have you ever found yourself wanting to do nothing and feeling guilty not doing the many things that need to be done? That was my day today.

I need to write 6 posts, review my next lesson, write up a summary for a student and take care of the thousand and one things that need to be done here, clean up, etc… But it's raining outside and for once, sunny California is gray and trickling sound of the rain invite me to settle in from of my screen watching Star Trek.

Dealing with guilt is a powerful lesson. Guilt serves a purpose but over the centuries it has been distorted and used for negative purposes. Guilt is a natural process and at one point was used to get us to do things that needed to be done. Now days, guilt is used to make us react regardless of whether or not we really need to do certain things.

Keeping a balance in one's life is important if one is to work to one's full potential. Work too much and you burn out. Play too much and you will eventually feel as if you haven't achieved much. Guilt can be used wisely but needs to be understood. When I feel a pang of guilt because I am not doing something I set out to do, it is time to assess the situation and address priorities.
In today's case, I realized I could take the day off and catch up tonight. Worse case scenario, we don't put up anything on the blog for one day. Thus today, I am watching Star Trek and not writing, nor doing anything else. And it feels good, once you understand it isn't the end of the world to not do things that are not absolute priorities.  Sometimes, feeling good is the best way to recharge so that you can be more productive soon.

There is something almost comical at times, reading over and over again the doom-like headline of these "uncertain times".  There is much fretting, much unease and much wondering.  Like people caught by surprise coming down from a party buzz, the feeling is one of emptiness and running to find a resolution.  The quick fix.

Are there any better times then to delve inside oneself when life is so full of questions?  When no real direction, short of getting back to work, isn't this the best time to get fundamental and ask yourself these core questions: "What do I want to do?", "What is it I am supposed to do?"

I love times like these when the uncertainty forces us the deal with the nagging suspicion that we might not be fully developing ourselves, or living to our fullest potential.  When the current mood becomes uncomfortable enough to get us to tap those core issues.  It is frightening at first, but after a while you find it fun, exciting and it feels you are home again, with yourself.

There is no better time than to go probe deep down when things seem to be going nowhere.  There is no better time to get to know oneself better now that we have reach a crucial fork in the road in our societies.  We are fortunate to have that chance to be able to ask ourselves what is it we truly want to do.  The last year or so, I have been lucky to have many people like that.

Ever notice how negative people drain you and tug at your energy level?  They wear you out, bring you down. Yet, if you are well anchored in yourself and well balanced, they shouldn't effect you.

When we feel emotionally involved, it is because we want to get something out of it.  If we don't want anything from any given situation, we are like Teflon.  Things slide on our skins.

When we get upset because a negative person, it is usually because we want something out of the situation.  The most likly reason is that we want to help, or make ourselves feel better by helping someone.  The truth of the matter is that we need to respect people's feelings and whether or not they are ready and willing to move on.  Some people just want to wallow in their negativity and no matter how positive you are, you will not bulge them.  Simply put, they will drag you down.

There comes a time when when you need to let it go.  If someone is negative and it is affecting you, gauge when it is time to stop helping them.  Sometimes, people are just not ready to be helped and need to stay in the state they are in longer, until they have had enough.  There is no reason to drag yourself down.  You need all the positive energy you can create.  If your tries are not answered after a while, simply respect them and let them go. 

I just did this again today with an extremely negative person.