Have you ever seen that show "The Office"? The more I watch the episodes, the more I realize sometimes we are just not present in conversations. How important it is when you ask something to make sure you have your public's attention and interest.
Here are 5 points to remember when asking for something, and it can be applied in your personal life or at work:
- Make sure you are neutrally charged and in the right mood when you make your request.What I mean by neutrally charged is rid of emotions and neediness. In other words, don't just blurt it out what you want, unprepared. Go through some sort of ritual to prepare yourself and answer your own questions as much as possible.
- Make sure you have your listener fully engaged when talking to them. How? See if they are really listening to you and not working on a computer, watching a video or waiting for that phone to ring. Don't be afraid to straightforward ask for their undivided attention. Ask them if they understand what you are asking for.
- K.I.S.S., keep it simple silly. Don't go off tangents, don't go into unnecessary explanations, get to the point, keep it simple, don't sound needy.
- Be specific, say what you want, how and give a time frame, of course while being realistic.
- Finally, give time for the listener to respond. Don't answer for her/him. Don't assume. Let them think, even if it makes you nervous, use the silence as your arm to let them know you are serious. Look at them and stay focus. The ball will be in their court.
I am amazed to see how many people are afraid to bother their superiors for things that would add value to their position and to the companies. People respect people who can ask questions, hold the silence and articulate clearly and concisely.
My sister-in-law is a master of the usage of silence. I have heard her on the phone asking for what she wanted, without even justifying herself, giving concise points mixed with dead silence to force the other person to answer. When you can master this, there isn't much you can't ask for.
