Monthly Archives: January 2009

How Easy It Is To Say Sorry

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Have you noticed how easily the word "sorry" slips out of some people's lips when they have done something wrong?

There are two types of ways to say sorry, the true meaning one followed by an act to repair it, as well as learn from it and the one that wants to get the repercussions away as soon as possible.  One is mature, the other is less than.

Unfortunately, saying sorry does not remove much, nor makes it better if it is just a word said in order to get away from the situation. The situation will happen time and time again until the lesson is learned. 
Apologizing does not wipe away what has been done and unless it prevents the situation again, it is little more than a word.

There was this person who backed out of a parking spot and bumped into an oncoming car. The person said sorry and then left.  No more, no less.  It felt as if the "sorry" word washed that person from any wrongdoing.  Unfortunately, too many people say sorry too quickly and expect to be absolved.  It's almost a throwback from childhood that wants to avoid a punishment or worse yet, being held responsible for their acts.

Saying sorry has to come with the realization you did something wrong followed with an action to make sure it doesn't happen and making it up.  I just thought it was funny how some people say sorry too quickly.  Sometimes it just feels they want to get off the hook without anything more than a word… sorry.

Working With Women

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I have been having the best time working with women lately.  Strangely enough, or not, depending on how you look at it, I have been attracting a lot of women and working with them on their careers.  It has been a lot of fun, extremely rewarding and very insightful.

I received some beautiful testimonials lately and they warmed my heart.  What has been the most interesting part is women's expectations at work, especially when it comes to working with men is not always the same as how men act and expect to be dealt with.  It made me understand that there might be some truth to the whole series of books Man Are From Mars, Women From Venus.  Men and women work differently undeniably.  Men have a way of conducting themselves in business, with specific codes on how to talk, ask for things and set boundaries.  Women don't automatically understand it nor does it fit their styles, either.  It seems it isn't a question of adopting anything but more finding a way to find your voice and making it work at the workplace. 

It has been an incredible experience working with my three last clients.  It reminds me how lucky I am to do the work I love to do and how enriching it is.

Goodbye 2008, Hello 2009

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I've been wondering about the effects of 2008 and what 2009 is introducing so far this month.

So far, it would be fair to say, 2008 was the year we all realized common sense has flown out the doors, a long time.  From unrelenting greed and ever upward spiraling revenue expectations, 2008 came crashing down.  In a society where we have too many rules that atrophy our right to exercise common sense, 2008 was the wake up call.  What is 2009 heralding in the meantime?

If the Detroit auto show is anything to gage then common sense is making a timid welcome back.  If the Obama administration's swift actions is anything to judge from, 2009 feels like a back to basics and making sure our system stays coherent.

It's been interesting working with people lately.  There is a different mood from about two weeks ago.  It would be easy to pinpoint on the new incoming administration and it seems it has a lot to do with it.  There is a renewed sense of hope, a fresh new start.  History in the making for human race.

I never thought one man could change the mood of a nation, and even though I am cautious about politicians in general, it feels this administration is actually lifting people's spirits.

Keeping The Motivation Going

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A familiar picture for most entrepreneurs is that of running after things, barely keeping track of everything while chasing any leads.  It is difficult to tame the barrages of obstacles, but you do something about it.

Motivation is the single most important thing for any Entrepreneur.
Entrepreneurs are risk-takers, and keeping the motivation going is fuel for their business.  So set yourself rewards.  Constantly remind yourself why you are working and what you are trying to achieve.
If you have team working for you, make sure everyone is in its place and knows what is expected of them.  Make sure they are involved and feel that their involvement helps the company go forward, which in turn propels them.  So create goals measurable together.  Communicate, communicate, communicate.  Was that clear enough?  Just in case, communicate and make sure everyone communicates.

But I work alone. 
That's a little tougher since you rely solely on yourself.  I found that working in the quietness of my home office in the morning does the trick, but after a while, I need to get out.  I either go to the garden for a while or out to my favorite coffee place and talk to others.

As an entrepreneurs who works alone, I need to my goal and original vision.

I wouldn't exchange it for anything though.  As a solo-entrepreneur, I developed a community and can draw from its strength when I need it.  So can you.

Tackling The Work Load With Ease

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For the last few months, my work load has grown exponentially with my practice taking off and being part of the Electricnick.com blog.  But I still manage to do everything every day.  And if I don't, I either make up for it, before or later.

The trick is to keep breathing.  Do you ever wake up in the morning and feel overwhelmed with all you need to do?  How is that working for you?  It doesn't of course.  In fact, it does quite the opposite.  It stresses you.  It bothers you so much, you lose energy, sleep and precious moments worrying about it, instead of just doing it, one step at a time.  It will get done.  And whatever doesn't, you just couldn't humanely do it, or if you could have, then you learn and do better next time.  That's it!

You are not defined by other's expectations of you.  You define yourself by what you can do, when you can do and however you can do.  Mistakes happen.  We strive to better ourselves.

This is the reality I am learning finally.  I am not defined by what others expect of me.  I am Nick, whatever the agglomeration of my personality, experiences and endeavors sum up to.  I do what I can, however I can and I can make mistakes.  I learn and move on.

Coming to this understanding really helps remove the stress factor.  After all, things will get done.  Remember how computers were supposed to free up our time to use it for fulfilling things?  It hasn't, of course.  Well, you could use an Apple and have more time than by using a PC, but I digress.  The gist is to wake up, know you have a few things to do and do them one by one while varying the workload with breaks throughout the day.

How did I get to do this?  How can you ask?  With my coach, of course.

No Time For Gloom

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Ever hear the story of the frog who falls in a bowl of cream?  It pushes with its strong legs against the liquid to get out in vain… that is until it turns to butter and he can climb out.

Lately I wonder why the sad faces?  We should be more grateful, especially in these "uncertain times".  One thing that can help is to avoid reading newspapers and TV news.  After all, we have built a very comfortable society, where our most basic needs are met.

While reading the news, I wonder the negative role it plays.  Being desperate needing our readership to attract more advertisers who are also pulling back, the doom and gloom headlines multiply.  I don't see how it can help the situation.  We must move on.

When the party was kicking, many stocked up on material riches, but few took care to work on spiritual and mental wealth.  Now is a good time to do something about it and get a better handle on our thoughts and attitudes?

Ever wonder why we spend the first 5 years of our lives focused on physical discipline and not the same for our mental?  At first, we struggle to see, then talk, then walk, then grab objects, and finally we more or less master it all.  Why don't we do the same using our mental?

I feel now is the best time to invest in your self so that you will rebound even higher.  We all too often forget, and when times are good, we rarely take the time to work on ourselves.  Now is a good time to take care of yourself to prepare for an even better tomorrow.

Profitability In Uncertain Times

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Don't you love that title…  Uncertain times!  When has any time been certain?  And what does that mean anyway?  By I digress. 

I am taking a great class at Coach University on Profitability.  Like everyone I thought profitability was about having enough money in the bank and having enough revenues.  Funny how taking a class can help challenge your basic assumptions and making them grow. 

Ultimately "profitability" is really about what you make of it in any times.  If times are hard for some, it is a god time to learn from it.  For one thing, you might feel happier when you are friends, or when everyone gets back home.  It might make you revisit fundamentals that money isn't the solution for everything.

And after all, money is only a neutral medium for the exchange of work and energy you put put there.  It isn't an end in itself.

Self Awareness And “The Office”

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Have you ever seen that show "The Office"?  The more I watch the episodes, the more I realize sometimes we are just not present in conversations.  How important it is when you ask something to make sure you have your public's attention and interest.

Here are 5 points to remember when asking for something, and it can be applied in your personal life or at work:

  1. Make sure you are neutrally charged and in the right mood when you make your request.What I mean by neutrally charged is rid of emotions and neediness.  In other words, don't just blurt it out what you want, unprepared.  Go through some sort of ritual to prepare yourself and answer your own questions as much as possible.
  2. Make sure you have your listener fully engaged when talking to them.  How?  See if they are really listening to you and not working on a computer, watching a video or waiting for that phone to ring.  Don't be afraid to straightforward ask for their undivided attention.  Ask them if they understand what you are asking for.
  3. K.I.S.S., keep it simple silly.  Don't go off tangents, don't go into unnecessary explanations, get to the point, keep it simple, don't sound needy.
  4. Be specific, say what you want, how and give a time frame, of course while being realistic.
  5. Finally, give time for the listener to respond.  Don't answer for her/him.  Don't assume.  Let them think, even if it makes you nervous, use the silence as your arm to let them know you are serious.  Look at them and stay focus.  The ball will be in their court.

I am amazed to see how many people are afraid to bother their superiors for things that would add value to their position and to the companies.  People respect people who can ask questions, hold the silence and articulate clearly and concisely.

My sister-in-law is a master of the usage of silence.  I have heard her on the phone asking for what she wanted, without even justifying herself, giving concise points mixed with dead silence to force the other person to answer.  When you can master this, there isn't much you can't ask for.

Empowerment For Balance, Selective News

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I didn't know how to title this but what if you didn't want to become pray to doom and gloom headlines and still be kept updated as to the world news?  You use a news aggregator.

Yes, the traditional printed news media, and now the multimedia news world is in a sad shape.  And it can't blame much but its owners for cutting costs right down to the journalist staff.  It's not hard to wonder why less and less people read the news.  I picked up a local paper from Long Beach, California and the Wall Street.  Bad news city!

The local newspaper was easily 80% negative news and I felt crummy after reading it.  I felt ever so slightly better after reading the Wall Street Journal because, at least it covered world wide news.  Still, both were heavily negative.  I felt heavy, sad and down after reading them.  I didn't understand why until I quickly glanced at the two newspapers and saw the majority of the titles were depressing.

It reaffirmed why I use aggregators to read my news.  I use Google's alert where I key in the news I am interested in and Bloglines that more or less does the same.  If I want to diversify, I go and read the headlines on the BBC and the CSMonitor.  And all in all, I can say I more or less know what is happening without drowning in shock and horror.

Do you ever have that feeling when you follow a certain type of news too closely and have tunnel vision?  You go to a party and every talks about different things you were not aware of?  You realize you've been living shock shelled and for no good reason.  Breath in, look up and get an overall view.  Newspapers and TV media are not covering the facts.  I read somewhere that there are about only 3% of "bad" people out there.  It makes you wonder why the news insists on covering 95% of the time those 3% of the people.

Without me…  I have a coach for my reality check :)

Happy New 2009 Year!

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Celebration 
Happy New Year everyone!  Hope you had a wonderful time last night and are enjoying a new day in a new chapter of your life.

I wanted to wish you all a Happy and Prosperous New Year.

My Wish for You in 2009

May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts.

May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet of  $100 bills.

May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips!

May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires !

May happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy.

May the problems you had forget you

This year, I am going to continue concentrating on only a few resolution instead of the slew of good willed ones we embark upon only to lose lose steam a week or so later.

  1. I will continue with daily mediation and mental exercises to keep my mind trained on focusing.  Anyone can do it, it takes about 15 to 20 minutes each day.
  2. Managing time so that I can continue the discipline of writing 4 to 5 posts a day, have time for clients and study.
  3. Continue being more aware and present so that I don't miss out on too much.

I am looking forward to a full year of learning with you all.