Our society has bent over backwards to cater to the Picassos of this world at the detriment of the Matisses.  Picasso, Matisse?  What does this all mean?

Picasso created most of his best work in his mid-20s.  After that, he tweaked his technique and continued onwards but never achieving more than he did in the beginning of his artist life.  Matisse was the stellar opposite.  He was not well known in his 20s and reach his prime in his mid-50s.  Some people bloom fast like super novas, others mature slower and peak later.  Together, we make the kaleidoscope of life.  Yet, why does our society focus on the Picassos?  Why does our society value youth, when it also has anxiety and not knowing, praise external beauty regardless of interior, cater to the one-hit wonder and drop them when they don't reproduce the same result over and over?

The music industry has especially been good at that.  How many music group get signed up and thrown away because their next album didn't sell as well as the first?  Imagined if the same thing had happened to Pink Floyd, the Beatles and the Rolling Stones?  What would be have missed, excuse me, what have we missed since this way of doing business in the 70s.  And Hollywood is no better.  Nowadays, everyone is a star.  It used to be that stars developed, matured and were far a few between at one time.  The same thing happens to cars by constantly redesigning them, regardless or not there is an enthusiastic following.  Why has Morgan been such a hit for 50 years, or the Alpha Romeo spider?  It recognized the appeal of a design and didn't blotch it up the following year.

All of this to say, our society caters to the now, the quick rewards of instant gratification.  How come so many people don't feel as happy as they should be?  One thing is for certain.  We have the power to say no.  We have the power to ask if really we need this and that.  And apparently, it is happening.  Many people are questioning forced-on-them appeal and use of big gas gulping SUVs and pickup trucks when they really don't need them.  More and more people are forced to ask themselves this great question: "What makes me happy and why?"

Last night I was schedule to coach a client but it didn't happen.

The client had been driving all day, been under a lot of uncertainties and by the time the client got home, it was time to coach.  Of course, it was the wrong thing at the wrong time.  The client needed to get home, unload everything and want to look forward sorting their thoughts.

What was interesting is the conditioning we have had drilled into us to please and be correct.  The client wanted to go through even though it was not the right time.  It reminded me how sometimes we are too willing to please, too willing not to hurt other's feelings even if it means putting our own discomfort aside.  In this case, the client would have felt such discomfort through the session that it would have negated any benefits, if any benefits would have come out of it.

We have to get to a place where we realize that without our welfare firmly established, others will be affected.  By trying to be nice to others without taking care of ourselves, or making sure we are in a position to be a 100% there, it becomes not-constructive.

I thought it was interesting how we are so willing to put others in front of us even if we are not ready to carry that weight.  There is a good way to say: "You know, I am sorry but I can't do it right now.  I am tired, exhausted, etc and just wouldn't be the best I would want for you at this moment.  Would you mind rescheduling?"

We need to have a certain amount of selfishness, in the good sense of the word if we want to bring the best of us.  Take care of number one first before you turn to others.

Oh, those silly conventions. 

I actually heard that and I can understand to a certain way but spending $20,000 to more for something that makes you look good got me thinking.

If you like the way a car makes you look, what is it about you you need to enhance?  Does it mean you do not see the person you are and need a prop to look even better?  Or does it mean you look bad and need humping bits and pieces of metal to look good?  Another thing that struck me is, are those really your tastes?  Had you not seen the marketing and advertising, would you have liked the car?

In this society where we are forced to value the external and neglect the internal, with dire consequences, I wonder how much we lose out by only focusing on exterior props and rewards.  If you know not yourself, how can you know what you like?  Don't you risk losing yourself and follow what you are being told without giving yourself a chance?  Aren't you saying no to yourself?  Worse of all, aren't you denying your dominion over the choices in your life by accepting the latest fads and the ever tweaked tomorrow's designs?  I actually miss the days when cars looked the same for a few year and didn't go into this frenetic pace to change and look different to the point of losing its edge and look.

If you take time to look at advertising it makes you wonder how much of your tastes are yours and how much could be just suggested as a sign of time.  Advertising has worked very hard these last few decades at creating desire where there was none.

So does that car make you look good?  Have you ever seen a good looking person in a shoddy car?  I have.

You can and should always gauge a coaching session by the energy you furnish to the desired results.  Sounds complicated?  Here is an example.

After my amazing 15mn laser like coaching session with Carol Courcy the other evening, I wondered how much of it would stick.  I wondered if the shifts I experienced would be lasting ones.  I had the desire, I felt the impact and I was clearly moved, however I realized I needed to sustain the change.  Many times we fall into a fall sense of security that once it's happened, it's done.  That can negate any forward momentum you made if you don't consciously feed it.

Yesterday I touched people's lives without even knowing it.  By allowing myself to be who I truly consciously am, I walked out feeling confident, different but still the same.  I bumped into one of my clients and we had a deep exchange.  I acknowledged his vulnerability after he mentioned it and showed him mine.  It was a perfect moment when client and coach meet on the same level and the client sees the coach as who he is, another human being with a specific set of tools to work through situations.

After that, I talked to a person who was explaining his dilemma to continue school or pursue a potential opportunity.  I didn't step into my consulting mode and bring my decades of solutions to the table.  I saw he was struggling with it.  I simply asked him what was holding him back.  And that was it.  It opened the flood gate and after less than 5mn he profusely thanked me.  I told him I only asked him a question.  But it was another great moment to see his face glow with the happiness of someone who had finally scoped out the situation from above and made a decision.

It felt as if it was my first day out with myself.  I was sure of myself, not pretentious.  I knew who I was and it didn't involve my ego.  It was a blissful moment in one's life as I would imagine a surfer finally catching that perfect wave.  Except for me, it's a wave I can ride any time and all the time I want.

I had one of the most amazing and powerful coaching session last night at the Orange County masterful coaching event.

With 5, originally
6 master coaches coaching in front of the room volunteers, I couldn't pass the opportunity to witness it.  And does it
surprise anyone I volunteered?  I was coached by Carol Courcy of Newfield and it was truly an amazing experience.

It was very powerful to see how these power houses of coaches dealt 
with different situations in 15mn.  Carol had cut around my quirk in under 5 mn and went right for the gusto.  Being trained in ontological coaching, something I am involved with, she was able to sense the who in me. 

Ontology?  Onto = being, logy is the study of.  therefore, the study of being. 

It reminded me how many schools and different types of systems are out there all ready for anyone.  And that's the beauty of this society that is redefining itself.  There is something out there for everyone.  It is not about one system fits all.  I am laughing as I see this Honda Pilot billboard that says: Big but not bloated".  A last desperate effort attempt to tell others what to think.  Sorry, an SUV is an SUV.

Here is an old story about 3 bricklayers.

A visitor walked up to a work site and asked the first bricklayer what he was
doing. The bricklayer yawned and said, "I'm laying bricks."

The visitor then went to the second bricklayer and asked what he was
doing. Patting the brickwork completed, the second bricklayer said, "I'm
building a wall."

Finally, the visitor came to a third bricklayer who was whistling as
he worked, and the visitor asked him what he was doing. The whistling
bricklayer smiled and said, "Why, I'm building a cathedral!"

They were all laying bricks.

The real question is which brick layer are you?  And if you are ready for a change, what is holding you back?  All great questions to through at a professionally trained business coach.

Spirituality can raise you above the daily grind.

I found often time enough that we all get bogged down in the daily routine and grind.  What I always notice is that if you have enough triggered s reflex, you can snap out of it, gage the situation and put things back into perspective.

Sometimes it is not easy finding that place of balance where you can make things more relative to the ultimate goal.  Where do you look?  Where do you position yourself?  The best place to start is to realize that you have a choice to stop or continue.  After that, it is easier to see that you do have an ultimate goal.

If you are familiar to meditation, or just simply able to reflect upon your life, you will find yourself at a point that seems above the "you" caught up in that daily grind.  Once there, everything has a different perspective.  Things seem different or have a different value.  At that point, it becomes obvious that what we felt was obvious isn't so if our point of perception changes.

Take for instance the lives of most people in our society.  We are pretty well off.  The same cannot be said of everyone around the planet.  Our problems would be welcome relief for many.  And imagine climbing way above yourself, looking at your life as one big event of experiences shaping the next one giving you sensations upon which you can draw conclusions and eventually turn them into knowledge.

The trick is to stop, take a breath, raise your awareness ever so higher than it is and start looking at the current situation at hand with a different perspective.  You will be amazed at how life is different when you raise you awareness.