Yikes, time slips by and I am feeling overwhelmed but in a good sense. It’s the sensation of having so many things to do and enjoying them. The question is how do I manage the time slots? Is that even the right question?

Lately, I have had one great idea after another, one good project after another and everything is going in the direction I want. Unfortunately, there are only so many of me and hours during the day. The feeling that is growing within me if I continue charging full steam ahead, I will either burn out or want to take off for a week or a weekend. I used to do this a lot. I used to go away to France for two or three weeks. However, with my time constraint and let’s be frank, I do think I want to spent $1000 to fly cramped in a small place for twelve hours with dubious service, I can’t take off as easily as I used to.

Being aware of this really gives me an edge compared to someone who just trudges along. However, I need to find an awareness and balance. One of the things I need to do is go to the library and chomp out a few hours on one project to ease the load. I have a few project and one that weighs pretty heavy both in terms of energy and expectation.

It always boils down to two things, awareness and balance. I find that my meditation time has been spent more thinking ahead and putting energy going forward then actually relaxing and centering myself. In other words, even though I have more quality personal time than most people, I don’t use it fully. At lest, I am aware I am not using in the way I want.

I also used to have a full day off or an afternoon or morning which I would spend at Polly’s working and going to The Belmont Athletic Club. I just don’t have time anymore. And just now it dawns on me that I haven’t worked out in a month.

So reflecting back, I need a more free flowing life. I need to have a better sense of my direction and not just general. I need to be more aware at every level why I am doing anything I do and what purpose it serves.