I just finished an article on Educational Leadership that talks about the dangers and rewards of praising children. I would like to work more with gifted children. I feel they are the hope for the future and I hate to see them get bored at school.

The article explained the different between praising a child on hers/his intelligence alone and praising them for the way they handled any problems they faced. One generation I see as already having problems are the ones we praised on their intelligence alone. They expect praises and hit a wall when they either/or don’t get them or are faced with a new tougher problem. These kids were never taught to use their intelligence, they were only praised for having been intelligent. Many studies found that students praised on the way they handled how the used their intelligence were better equipped at dealing with new challenges than those praise on intelligence alone. It was fascinating and made perfect sense.

It was interesting that at the same time, I stumbled on one of the CoachingForum‘s post about the same subject. David C. Buchan posted a four step process on intelligent praising:

1. Confirm there was a commitment from the other person to do something for you.
2. State the commitment has been met.
3. Outline the consequences of having met the commitment
4. Expand into future possibilities.

There you go. Don’t just praise. Praise the way someone handles a situation, the way they used their intelligence, the method, if you will. That will give them a better sense of their worth than just praising something as impalpable as “intelligence”.

And in case you run out of ways to praise your child, check this website out.