A business owner friend of mine was talking about the shape of his industry and his business.
This is one of these times when my coaching skills and newly acquired techniques naturally came up, I used that discussion with him to coach, unbeknown to him.
One of the first quality a good coach will exhibit is that of intent listening and asking questions. A coach centered in the present is fully listening and trusts his intuition to ask the right question at the right moment while leaving the space open for the coachee to find his own specific answers. I wrestled with that concept before becoming a “real” coach but it all makes sense. Who knows better than the coachee the answer to their problems? Or, who has all the cards in their hands, has all the precise and exact knowledge than the coachee needs to formulate an accurate scenario? And lastly, how much more rewarding is it for someone to find their own answers instead of being told what to do? It builds value in the self-found solution and it is highly empowering. This is worth its weight in gold!
As my friend was talking and talking, I was eagerly listening and listening. I was amazed at the intricacies. I wanted to hear more. It was fascinating. Then all the sudden, a deep sense of awe for this person emerged. I felt his desire, his values, his dreams, his goals, it all made sense. He was painting picture of him that was imprinting in my mind. After this, it was easy to understand he was a high-verbal processor and needed a safe, neutral space to talk it out.
He thanked me for helping him find the solutions. I pointed out that he had found his own solution. All I did was let him talk and assisted in provided a safe environment. I told him I am a neutral third party whose only wish is his happiness, not his specific goals. And let me tell you, this sinks in even more on a personal level.
After about an hour and a half he had come up with all kinds of alternatives and we decided firmly on actions to take, or in this case, not to take given the risks. It was wonderful.