There is an old saying that goes something like, better be by yourself then alone in a crowd. Although, I see the wisdom in it, I question how we are equipped to make sense of it.
The week of deaths
This week has been plagued by deaths around us. Robin Williams takes center stage and somehow, really troubles me still. Other friends on Facebook told how a loved one passed away. Many of them did. It’s odd, because at the same time it is the month of Leo Birthdays. I never knew there were so many Leos out there. But like most vivacious, social creatures, I wonder how many resonate with being alone in a crowd. I know I do, sometimes.
My whole life is centered on building teams, groups of people working intelligently together. I can’t say I’ve been very successful. Even my last project is turning out to be a cacophony of individuality and sub-group actions. My fellow editor breaks a news via a cut and paste PR release, not giving me the opportunity to write about it. Hey, I’m an electric vehicle (EV) writer and need every single opportunity I can grab. I don’t get paid for this. At least, let me write about it. My other two colleagues decide to do a podcast without me and chose to do it on EVs. I’m stumped… At this moment, I’m waiting to friend to come by and pick me up to help him on a Saturday. He’s flaking out… again.
Listening to life’s messages
I’m starting to get the feeling that life is telling me to do something else. That, writing about EVs has run its course. I was fortunate enough to be one of the first three EV writers back then. Maybe, I did what I was supposed to do. Maybe I should now concentrate on alternative energy. Surely there is more compensation there. I’m keeping my horizon wide and open, asking only for well-being. That seems to be the catch all…
In the meantime, this Robin Williams quote haunts me:
“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone”
I am thankful to have Virginia, my mother and Virginia’s mom in my life.
Update: And just now, a close friend of mine left me a voice mail saying she’s at the end. Yikes, what is going on? Is it time for society to change or what?
This gives me even more motivation to go forward.